It started out like probably most other teenage relationships. I saw this girl at school. She looked cute. I started asking about her from friends that we had in common. I finally approached her and we hit it off. You know...normal, nothing extraordinary, but it was a pretty good start.
Then, as time went on, I got a little antsy about things. I kind of wanted to go beyond the basics, but at first she didn't want to. I definitely wasn't going to force her, so I chilled and just enjoyed hanging out with her. Our relationship was approaching the one year anniversary mark. I know because she constantly reminded me of this. When I realized that it was a whole year, I figured I would try to nudge her along a bit. I was so ready for a more physical relationship at that point..and lucky me...so was she!
That was the start of our "new" relationship and plenty of physical encounters. We generally used some sort of birth control, but not always. I was really loving life and we started making all types of future plans. We were both about to graduate and college was our next move. It all seemed cool until that day. She broke the news. I thought to myself, "My girlfriend is pregnant. What now?" I was absolutely, positively NOT ready to be anybody's dad. I was scared and completely confused.
I figured I'd better talk to her about what we should do. I thought if she had an abortion that would be best. She refused. I understood why she refused, but I was kind of hoping that she wouldn't use this time to become ultra-religious on me! I didn't know what to think at that point. All that I knew was that I couldn't be a good dad....not at 17, with no job and no car. She, on the other hand, said that she was considering keeping it. Oh NO! How in the world would I pay support for this child??!? This was all too much for me.
I loved my girlfriend and I didn't want to break up. OK...the idea of the fact that my girlfriend was pregnant started not to be too overwhelming as time went on. I kind of just dealt with it. To be honest, it was her body so, she really was dealing with it more than me! After about 6 weeks, she had more news. Without me knowing, my girlfriend had changed her mind and had decided that she wanted to place the baby for adoption. I wasn't too thrilled with that decision because I didn't know about the process. She and I spoke with an adoption counselor and I started to feel a little more comfortable. We made all of the decisions from here on out together!
Through this situation, I was glad that I didn't force my girlfriend into anything. We are still together and are planning to get married next year, after we both graduate from college. We will start our own family one day, but for now we are both happy that our first child had a better start in life than either of us was prepared to give him at 17. The parents that we selected for the child are wonderful people and we are sure that they will give this kid everything. That made us feel better knowing that this child would not have to suffer because of us. He has a great life! My girlfriend sometimes wonders about how things may have been different. I do too. But, then I let those thoughts go. We made the right decision and everybody was much better for it. Find out more about adoption by reading So I Was Thinking About Adoption...Considering Your Choices.